Compliments. You either love them or shy away from them. Or maybe just don’t know what to do with them when they pop up. They could be rare offerings or maybe you’re bombarded with them. One thing I know is that it’s taken me a while to welcome compliments and fully accept them. So here’s some tips on how to accept compliments.
Say thank you… When I used to receive compliments, I always used to make a joke or distract the attention away from me. I felt awkward about receiving them. If someone complimented me on my outfit, I’d always let them know if it was a bargain. This response was my tactic to shift the attention onto something else. For a long time I didn’t like or want any extra attention. I also didn’t want to be perceived as needing attention. Over the years, I’ve realised that it’s important to say thank you before anything else when someone pays you a compliment.
Respect that someone has taken the time to give you a compliment. Giving compliments is a skill in itself. I believe people who give compliments are showing a beautiful side of their own confidence. They’re able to recognise talents or nice things about others. You can also pass a compliment to the other person but thanking them for taking the time to let you know what they thought.
Listen to the compliment… It’s easy to switch off and never wonder why somebody is giving you a compliment. Most of the time is because somebody means it. So actively listen with your eyes, your ears and your heart. Be mindful about receiving a compliment. How did it make you feel?
Be curious...Over the years I love knowing exactly what people like (I still worry about what people don’t like or what can be better – I guess it’s the HR / performance review culture in me!). So when you receive a lovely compliment don’t be afraid to ask why they said it. A simple “thanks so much for saying that – what made you think of that about me?” let’s the compliment giver expand a bit. Use the moment of a compliment to find out more. Or if you want follow up another time. It’s all good practice for receiving feedback – something we need to be stronger at in our working lives and day to day relationships.
Enjoy it…We sometimes avoid thinking about ourselves too much or spending time on why we’re great as individuals. Now that could come across as selfish or self-centred right? Nope. Enjoy the compliments you receive. Compliments can boost our confidence, how we feel about ourselves and in turn our mental wellbeing. Enjoy what people are saying about why they appreciate you or what they like about you. It could be a compliment about the way you are, your work, what you’re doing, how you’ve helped them or even how you look.
Jot it down…Compliments can feel like gold dust so capture them in a way that works for you. I love keeping collections of compliments on a note on my iPhone or GoogleDocs. They’re great pick me ups if I feel the self-doubt cloud hovering over me. Reading compliments can be quite powerful. They remind you of who you are. They help you to look after your own confidence and can be confidence energisers when any self-doubt hits in.
See a compliment as a gift…Compliments are like words wrapped up in pretty paper. Someone is handing those words over to you. If someone gave you a wrapped up present, would you take it? So take the compliment. It’s for you and no one else.
Practice giving out compliments yourself… Do you like giving others compliments? If you don’t find this easy, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Give out a compliment and see how it felt for you. I’m hoping that it make you felt good, especially when you see the other person’s reaction. Supporting each other’s confidence is priceless and people really appreciate it.
Give yourself a compliment! Yes this may feel weird but it’s actually really healthy. Tell yourself what’s great about you. Just say something nice about yourself or write it down. Jot down all of your WOW moments from last week, last month or the year gone by. You can read more about why it’s important to celebrate our small milestones here. Reminding yourself about your own achievements also helps you to manage any comparison syndrome or what I call comparison culture.
I’ve received a few lovely compliments recently about the work I’ve done to help others feel confident or what people have thought of the Lucky Things Meet Up and the Lucky Things Local events. I’ve really appreciated hearing what people think as my coaching work as encouraging the right results for others is really important to me. It still takes me a moment to just accept the compliment but it’s all good practice.
I’m also sending out a huge thank you to everyone who nominated me for the Mother-hood.com Top London Mummy Blogger Award. I’m really pleased to be the Runner-Up (it was fab being alongside so many amazing finalists).
What do you think about compliments? Do they make you feel great or a bit awkward? Do you freeze when someone pays you a compliment as you’re not sure what to say? Let me know and leave a quick comment below.
Oh and I’m sending you a virtual compliment for taking the time to read this blog post as I know how busy we all are, I really appreciate it and hope you enjoy Lucky Things.