Is there such a thing as being cool?

Whenever I see the word cool, I’m not sure what to think. We hear and read about being cool lots around social media but what does it really mean? We see what others are doing or wearing and it fits into our definition of cool. Well, I wonder if there is such a thing as being cool?

What does cool mean again?…On Google, the word cool means “fashionably attractive or impressive“. The thing I worry about this definition of cool is that it isolates a lot of people because of how they see themselves. Self-doubt affects everyone and would anyone immediately describe themselves as cool? Nope. Everyone has enough on their self-doubt plate to deal with. Growing up, I was never part of the cool gang at school. Looking back I’m glad that I wasn’t as I wouldn’t be so close to the friends I’ve treasured over the last 30 years. I’m still proud to call our little group the geeks at school. We didn’t need to advertise our coolness. As I mentioned on the lovely #coolmumsclub interview, I’m proud to be a geek myself. If I wasn’t one, maybe I wouldn’t have been organised enough to blog or run a business.

Cool means calm…For me, cool means dealing with the ups and downs of life. I talk about wellbeing and looking after yourself heaps on Lucky Things. From dealing with mum guilt or busting your FOMO (fear of missing out), it’s cool to look after yourself. It’s also cool to worry about the right things. One thing I love about the definition of cool is that it’s about being calm or maybe gaining a little perspective. I’ve managed my own calmness over the years. Pop over to this blog for some tips on staying calm and dealing with everyday anxiety.

Cool is about being OK with who you are…What I call comparison culture can be a right pain. It affects people at different levels. So I think the better we manage any comparisons, the cooler we feel about being ourselves. It can takes years of practice though. I know I feel a bit cooler when I’m feeling good about what I’m doing or how I’m helping someone else. So it’s more about feeling cool rather than looking or coming across as cool.

Cooler with age...I used to associate the word cool with the younger generation. I’d look at my 15 year old niece and think, wow she knows about all of the cool stuff out there whether it’s what to wear or what music to listen to. Now I’m 40, I’ll admit I do feel a bit cooler with age. I basically feel a bit wiser. I don’t pretend to know everything and I’m certainly not perfect. But going through different stuff has made me who I am today.

Is being cool about the way we look? Whatever we look like, we will always feel self-conscious about something. It’s easy to think that person looks cool, especially if they’re outfits seem trendy. Sometimes the word cool equals being fashionable. I disagree. At the April’s Lucky Things Meet Up in London, we busted the myth that feeling confident in your own style is all about being fashionable. It’s just about feeling good about your own style rather than comparing yourself to others. I’m excited about talking about style and confidence with Lucy @styled_by_lucy in June where I know I just want to feel comfortable on the day rather than trying to look cool.

Cool isn’t about being in the club…We briefly chatted about cliques on my Instastories live chat last night. For me, being cool isn’t about being part of the gang, it’s about surrounding yourself with positive people. People say find your tribe or your vibe attracts your tribe. So make sure those in your tribe are nurturing rather than draining. Sometimes, I think the coolest people are the ones who just do their own thing and who are able to relate to lots of different people. So cool shouldn’t feel like an exclusive club. Anyone can join in with feeling cool.

“But what you’ve done sounds really cool?”…I’m not sure if I ever felt cool when I was DJ-ing or working in fashion. They were jobs to me and both involved a serious amount of hard work behind the scenes – from networking to build up your reputation or managing rejection when you weren’t selected for amazing opportunities. I always joke that being a DJ isn’t actually that cool; it’s actually about being a geek. You need to know your stuff and what makes other people feel happy when they hear music. If I think about what I’m doing now, yes maybe I do feel a little cool. I love bringing people together through the Lucky Things Meet Ups and Lucky Things Locals. I feel cool when I help others to feel more confident about themselves through coaching or my confidence chats. So maybe it’s about helping others find their own definition of cool that works for them?

Your definition of cool…Everyone is cool in my eyes. We’ve all done stuff or been through things that make us unique.For me, cool is about being nice to yourself and recognising your little achievements along the way. Being cool is also about where you find inspiration from whether it’s the music I love or the street art I love browsing or discovering. So it’s about finding your own definition of cool or your bits of cool. It’s about a feeling. Maybe you don’t even need or want to feel cool – that’s cool too.

What do you think about the word cool? Have you ever felt cool? Is being cool about the way we look or is it about the way we feel? Leave a comment below and let me know what you think too…


Sunita is a trained Business, Career and Confidence Coach and CIPD qualified HR professional with over 20 years in her field. To find out more about her recommended coaching services click here or you can browse forthcoming online meet ups and masterclasses right here. Need some expert advice on your CV or LinkedIn profile? Check out the options here. 

The free online Lucky Things®️ Meet Ups are running fortnightly on Thursday lunchtimes 1pm-2pm UK time. You can book your free space for the next one here. The feedback on these online events and talks has been wonderful and are known for being a much needed space to connect and feel inspired during our unusual year.

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Sunita runs the Lucky Things®️ Meet Ups and Masterclasses – inclusive spaces all about looking after our confidence, careers (whatever we do in our week!) and wellbeing. Sunita’s colourful career kicked off in fashion and media, working with brands like Liberty, The Body Shop, Nike and Italian Vogue. Her coaching and professional development career now focused on helping others to feel confident so they move forward with their businesses.

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