Hey Lucky Things crew, hope your week is moving along nicely. Looking at how bold my 1 year old and 3 year old can be, I really love their confidence. They seem to generate a lot of it themselves. I know that it’s also really important to nurture confidence in your little ones so I’m always thinking of ideas to make them feel good about themselves, especially Big Munch as she has turned 3 and developing more into a little person/threenager!
As grown-ups, we don’t tend to talk about or remember how great we are. We keep it in as we wouldn’t want to come across as self-centred or possibly arrogant. But we’re all amazing human beings who achieve lots as we juggle life’s ups and downs.
All I know is that confidence comes and goes. We also grow our confidence in different ways. I know a lot of my confidence has grown in certain situations. When I worked as a freelancer years ago, I had no choice but to be confident or at least come across as confident. I was working on my own a lot and with different creative teams each week. I was responsible for promoting “my own brand”. I had to network in media circles although I wasn’t sure if people would be interested in me as there are so many talented people out there. On the flipside, there have been times when confidence levels are dented or take a little dip. At the end of the day, deep down we ALL operate on some level of confidence so we just need to give it a little energy boost every now and then.
The other evening I was chatting to Kirsty from Something Crunchy Mummy. We talked about confidence and the world of blogging. On the way home it made me think about why as grown-ups we don’t always feel confident about things.
I’m certainly no expert on transforming confidence levels but I know I do my best to help others change their view of themselves. I often chat to friends and family when their confidence levels need topping up. I guess I like offering the friendly support. When I’m not feeling as confident I know there are a few things which might help me out. So, here’s 7 things that may help to energise your confidence….
1.Remember your WOW moments… Sometimes we don’t realise how confident we really are and don’t celebrate our amazing we can be or have been in the past. If it helps think of you Wonder Woman or Wonder Man moments. Think of a few times when you have felt really confident. A time when you knew exactly what you were doing, a time when you knew you’d be great at doing something or a time when you felt like you really achieved something. These can be big or small things. Baby Munch has a WOW chart at nursery where they pop up their cute achievements on the wall. When I heard about this at her nursery parents evening (!) I realised I needed a WOW chart too. So, jot some down WOW moments about yourself and pop them on the fridge or mirror so you can build a little confidence boosting collage. Or make a little list on your iPhone so you always have it on you for easy access in confidence-dip moments. You may have come across this idea when I talked about making a 10 positive things list on my post about making the most your journey to work.
2. An outside view of you…We don’t always see ourselves as others see us. Sometimes I can be shy when someone pays me a compliment. I brush it off with words and I say something to take the attention away from me. Other times, I love hearing what people think of me (nice things of course!) and relish the fuzzy moment when someone thinks you’re really doing great. Think about how your friends see you. Why do they appreciate you as a friend and what qualities do they respect about you? If you can’t remember any nice compliments, then go on, ask a good friend to let you know what’s lovely about you or what you’re really good at. Just explain you’re having a bit of a confidence-dip and need a friendly compliment pick-me-up. You might also have an important event or task coming up where you want to feel more confident. I’m sure your friend would be happy to help. Maybe one day they’ll be calling on you for the same favour.
3. Time to Shine “What’s great about us again?”…When you next get together with a few mates, play the “what’s great about us again?” game. Everyone writes the name of the pal who’s sitting on your right on a post-it note. Then everyone writes on a post-it one great thing about the pal sitting on the right of them. Then everyone passes the post-it they just wrote on round to their left so others can add what they admire about the same person. Eventually the post-it list will arrive at the person it’s describing capturing lots of nice things about them. It’s sure to make them smile (or blush) as they read through the different compliments. Voila! A nice confidence energiser for everyone. I’m seeing my school crew next week and our lovely pal E is over from India, so I think it’s a good time for us to play this game whilst we wait for our food to arrive. So to play this game you’ll need: post its or pieces of paper for each person; a few pens (its ok to share) and lots of nice compliments.
4. Assuming people think something when they don’t…It’s easy to assume that people focus on your faults. As human beings we can’t help notice what could be better about ourselves but it doesn’t mean everyone else is looking at our not-so-good attributes through a big magnifying glass. Our little voice loves generating lots of self-doubt. This is where you need a bit of brain-training and you need to tell your thoughts to calm down! When you start doubting yourself because you feel people might have critical thoughts about you, interrupt those thoughts and remind yourself it’s all made up. Hard to do at times, but if you catch these non-existent thoughts early on you have a better chance of zapping them. It might sound a bit wacky but you can also imagine that negative thought on a balloon that is going far up in the sky and then it just…bursts!
5. Don’t seek too much approval from others…Again, other people can have a HUGE impact on our confidence levels. If you’re constantly seeking approval from others, ask yourself why you care so much about what they think? Is their approval really important to you and will it really make you happy in the longer-term. The most important approval you need is from yourself. If you know you’re doing ok and happy in what decisions you’re making, that’s more than good enough.
6.Wear something that makes you feel confident…Any excuse to browse the wardrobe and pick out some of my favourite things. Perhaps it’s a little excuse to go shopping. For many of us, there are certain things that we wear which make us feel a bit more confident. It doesn’t have to be a whole outfit but maybe just a nice accessory, a favourite pair of shoes or some make up which makes you feel brighter. I love what my friend JG says about wearing a bit of jewellery. She and her pal always feel that if they’re wearing jewellery then things appear more in control, they feel good about themselves and all is ok! This was great advice to come across on my last maternity leave.
7. No one is perfect or needs to be perfect...There is a lot of pressure to be a certain way. Whether you’re growing up, you’re trying to make a good impression or you’re trying to be a great parent we always look at others and may assume that is the “the right way to be”. Sometimes we have to take a step back and stop trying to be something we aren’t or like someone else. Yes, it’s important we have positive role models or people around who inspire us but it doesn’t mean we should forget about the great things that make us who we are.
So, what’s your top tip for energising your confidence? Did you get the play the “what’s great about us game” and what did people end up saying about you? I’d love to hear more about your confidence energisers. Don’t be shy, leave a quick comment below.
Oh and don’t forget to start your own WOW list! I set you the challenge…
Catch up again soon. Enjoy lucky things.