Today in a meeting I was reminded on numerous occasions about our journey to become parents. I know me and Mr. H won’t be having any more children. Read on to find out how I feel about about not having any more babies…
Building your own little family…I am lucky to have not one kid but two. I’m sure lots of mothers who have one or two children may make the decision not to have any more. People can’t just keep going like the old days; there arrives a point when you know you won’t or don’t plan to have any more babies. People decide not to have more children for lots of reasons.
Different stories…Some are probably trying to have their first, second or third child and sadly things may not be happening as fast as they’d like. My heart sinks when I hear of or sense others’ struggles to get pregnant. Nothing much can help with that wanting feeling. No pregnancy journey is straightforward. Everyone has their own story. Knowing that I won’t be having any more children reminds me of our story in the first place. We were were told that we had very slim chances of becoming parents.
“Maybe you’ll decide to have a third one day…” I’m not thinking about having any more children. It’s not part of our future as a little family. Some people assume you will always want more children. For me and Mr.H we know we’re good with two.
Not me...Many people who don’t know our full IVF story and why we needed to do IVF sometimes innocently comment “Oh but you might fall pregnant naturally next time”. Getting pregnant naturally, whether it’s planned or unplanned, will never happen to me. My body just isn’t built to have babies naturally. Fact. No nice words of hope and faith can change that. I have accepted that I’m built a certain way.
“But you can always do IVF again”…Some people make comments as they want to be positive. Going through IVF is no easy thing. The emotional, biological and physical pain is something else. You can’t guarantee any IVF process will be the same. Not everyone feels OK about going through it again. It’s not something I wish to try again.
The bumpness…Seeing bumps brings back pregnancy moments for me. Whether it’s the heaviness, the uncomfortableness or the fluttery moments, I treasure them all. I won’t be feeling those things again but that makes me value my memories of being pregnant. Several of my friends are pregnant at the moment. I love seeing their bumpness but I also know every pregnancy comes with its tough moments.
Baby ways…As Toddler Munch is growing out of her baby ways, I’m also starting to think more about the opportunity I’ve been given to be a mummy. Yes I will miss the smallness and portability of a newborn. I know I have to focus my energy on what I have (seeing the girls grow up) instead of what I don’t have (the ability to have another baby). We still have a lifetime of firsts to look forward to.
I’d love to hear what you think about this blog post so leave a comment below if you have a free moment.
Thank you to Katrina Campbell Photography for capturing this picture of me and the girls as the last Mama Meet at Olive Loves Alfie East in Stratford, London. I’m doing a talk on Confidence, Career and Motherhood at the OLA MAMA event on Thursday 2 March 11am-1pm. Please pop over to this link for tickets.