Comparing yourself to others is an everyday thing. It’s what I also call comparison culture. Some people spend a few moments; some people spend heaps of time doing this. For some, it feels manageable as they’re just fleeting thoughts. For others, it can feel exhausting or even bring on anxieties. As we talk a lot about looking after your confidence and wellbeing on Lucky Things, it’s important to talk about how we can stop comparing ourselves to others.
Be mindful…We can’t stop our thinking patterns, at times they’re automatic. So pause and acknowledge how something makes you feel and then decide to move on. Mindfulness is a great way of managing how we then focus our emotional energy on more positive things. Dr. Tamara Russell, a leading mindfulness expert, created the Transitional Pause. As Tamara says, it’s about “a short practice you can do anywhere to help you train your brain to act with awareness. Take three minutes to acknowledge where you’ve come from and the impact of that activity, how you are right now, and how you intend to be in the next interaction.” I’ve found that it’s an easy mindfulness exercise that can be done on the move and helps me to clear my mind and get it ready for the next task.
Clock it up…How much time do you spend in a day comparing yourself to others? If you think you compare a lot, then do a journal to see how many times a comparison interrupts your day. Then roughly work out how much time you spend on comparing yourself to others. You may be shocked by the results. If you realised it added up to half an hour, an hour or even more, how would that make you feel? For me, I know I can spend any comparison time that more wisely. Whether we’re parents, carers, busy in our day jobs, entrepreneurs, creatives or bloggers all of our time is precious.
Celebrate your skills and talents…We all have them but sometimes we forget about what makes us great. When you find yourself comparing to others, close it down by focussing on yourself. It’s too easy to start thinking about what others are doing, saying, achieving, wearing or where they’re going. If you want, pop over to my blog post on why we need to Celebrate our skills and talents.
Recognise others’ skills and talents…It’s also about pausing and acknowledging other’s achievements. We never know the full story behind someone’s success or their everyday life. Everyone has ups and downs whether they decide to talk about them or not. As social media can present the perfect parts of someone’s life at times, use your own filter. We easily forget that everyone’s life is different or difficult. Focus your time and energy on recognising others’ achievements instead.
Turn comparison into inspiration…Being happy for others is a much healthier feeling right? Don’t let jealousy eat you up. As a counsellor once told me, feeling envious is a more positive feeling than feeling jealous. Feeling envious means that you respect what someone has or who they are. When I couldn’t get pregnant, it was easy for me to compare myself to others. Why did my situation feel unfair and more difficult than others? At the end of the day, through comparing, I realised I just wanted something that was important to me and IVF was my option. It’s also handy to think about if what they have is what you really want? If you really want something too, be practical and think about how can you achieve it?
What’s right for your uniqueness?…So I do wonder, as we and our lives are all unique, is it right to compare ourselves to others in the first place? It’s fine to feel curious about what others are doing or achieving. Don’t let that distract you from your own plan and intentions. Just because someone else is doing X or has Y, is that what we need to do or have too? Check in with what’s right for your life and uniqueness. We’re all doing good things and working towards our own successes.
Don’t get sucked into comparison culture…It’s here to stay but just because others are comparing themselves to others, don’t feel you need to as well. Recognise when you’re doing it and make a decision whether you want to spend your time or energy on something else more positive.
Do you compare yourself to others? Do you think it’s healthy to compare yourself to others? What do you think about comparison syndrome and comparison culture? Is comparing yourself to others a healthy thing? How can it feel unhealthy? Leave a comment below as it would be great to know what you think too…
Great post Sunita! While comparison with others it’s in our human nature, I find being mindful and focusing on my own journey are the easiest way to avoid the risk of dwelling too much on what others do. it’s all about accepting our differences and knowing how to learn from others. X
A formidable share, I simply given this onto a colleague who was doing a little evaluation on this. And he in truth purchased me breakfast as a result of I discovered it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the deal with! However yeah Thnkx for spending the time to debate this, I really feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If potential, as you develop into expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more details? It’s highly useful for me. Massive thumb up for this blog publish!
It抯 arduous to find knowledgeable people on this subject, but you sound like you recognize what you抮e talking about! Thanks
My spouse and i got very excited when Chris managed to finish up his analysis while using the ideas he grabbed from your very own web site. It is now and again perplexing just to choose to be giving away ideas which often other people might have been selling. And we also remember we’ve got the blog owner to appreciate for this. Most of the illustrations you have made, the simple site menu, the friendships you will assist to create – it is everything overwhelming, and it’s really facilitating our son and the family imagine that that subject is thrilling, which is certainly extraordinarily fundamental. Thank you for the whole lot!
I precisely wished to thank you so much once again. I do not know the things I could possibly have achieved in the absence of the entire basics shown by you over that problem. It had become a real intimidating situation in my opinion, however , observing your well-written mode you managed the issue forced me to leap with fulfillment. Now i’m thankful for this guidance and as well , wish you comprehend what an amazing job you are always accomplishing educating many people all through your webpage. Most probably you’ve never encountered all of us.
I wish to express my appreciation for your kindness supporting those people that should have guidance on this subject matter. Your personal dedication to getting the message up and down has been surprisingly functional and has always encouraged associates like me to achieve their objectives. Your new useful help and advice entails much to me and a whole lot more to my office colleagues. Regards; from everyone of us.
I wish to show my appreciation to the writer just for rescuing me from this particular setting. As a result of researching through the world wide web and obtaining advice which were not helpful, I believed my entire life was done. Existing without the presence of strategies to the difficulties you have sorted out as a result of your guideline is a serious case, and those that could have in a wrong way affected my career if I had not encountered the blog. Your main expertise and kindness in maneuvering almost everything was very helpful. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had not come upon such a thing like this. It’s possible to now look ahead to my future. Thanks so much for this high quality and sensible guide. I won’t be reluctant to endorse the sites to anyone who desires guidelines about this matter.